The Best Year?

Salvete Amici,

Being a freshman was fun.  And just like all other good things, I don’t want it to come to an end.  But it must.  We all move on to new and greater things at some point.  I mean, if I think back on it, there are so many times when I did not want to change, and then the change turned out to be fun:

  • I never wanted to move houses, but I have had wonderful memories in each new house to which I’ve moved.
  • I rarely want to watch the old movies my dad insists on showing us, but they always turn out to be really good!  (Well, that’s not really a change…)
  • I was really frightened of learning to drive, and now I’m starting to enjoy it.

And now, here I am, reluctant to let go of the title “freshman.”  Why is that?  I should excited to be growing older, (and hopefully wiser).

The truth is, every time something changes, it actually stays very much the same.  I thought  my life would change drastically when I turned 18.  But I’m still the same silly, excited, muddled girl that I was when I was 12.  However, I became more confident, and I met new people, and I became more independent, and I had new experiences.

It can only get better.

I just have to embrace it.

Sloth

It’s a little past the middle of the summer, and I have no ability or urge to do anything.  Here’s the lowdown:

Creativity –  I haven’t been able to draw for months; I haven’t written any stories; all blog posts I attempt are messy and stiff.

Driving – A recent driving scare has lowered my confidence.

Work – I have some unfinished homework from the year which has been neglected.

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I think I worked so hard this school year that my mind recoils from anything faintly resembling work.  But that’s a problem.  I’m going to be a college student in a month!!  I’m going to be working harder than ever before.

Is this just a summer thing?  What if I can’t muster the strength to push my sloth away?

How am I going to succeed as a college student if I don’t want to do anything?

Adventures in Bugland

I went to register, and now, I am officially a Bardian!!  That means I’ll be a college student next fall.  It’s hard to believe…

Actually, yesterday, I was feeling quite overwhelmed about it all; graduating, having to learn to drive this summer, finding a job, taking 4 classes next semester…  What if all this work of applying was for naught?  What if I turned out to be a horrible college student?

And as I sat there wallowing in my hopelessness, I saw a little ant.  It was dragging along the carcass of another insect easily five times its size.  There was no anthill in site, so I assumed that that ant was going to have to keep dragging that other bug a looooong way.

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But he didn’t seem tired, and he didn’t seem to be thing This is just too hard for me!  He kept at it.

So I decided that I should take after this ant, and follow his example.  I continued watching him, my admiration growing every minute, as he struggling but persevered, dragging his load over, under, and around many obstacles.

And then, he began to approach a grate.

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As he did, I wondered if he knew that it was behind him.  But I had faith that he would have some strange insect intuition and figure how to overcome this next obstacle.  Unfortunately it was then that he dragged the corpse a little too close to one of the holes and it fell in.

At first it seemed like he would save it!  He was still holding on to it, but it was dangling down, and the weight was too much, so he dropped it.

He wandered away, sans cargo, looking very confused.

Sometimes you work really hard for something and you still don’t reach your goal.  Well, it was a metaphor, but not the one I was looking for!  Somehow it reassured me though.

Some people (me) just worry and worry.  But in the end, nothing is certain.

You just have to push forward into the unknown and hope for the best.